Welcome to the club - Part III

I know it's been a while between this and my last post but I wasn't quite ready to finish it off. I guess I have been coming to a conclusion throughout this process. This is what I have decided. Though I do not endorse the restrictions deemed necessary by the club it comes down to a matter of priorities. What is most important to me? Is the forfeiture of certain privelages worth the increased purchase into the system? The answer, for me and at this time, is yes.

Truthfully, the answer has always been yes, in principle. I just wasn't sure if this was the time to make the commitment. There is always uncertainty involved in making decisions like this one but I am willing to make the trade off.

The only thing that bothers me is whether or not my acquiescence on this point constitutes a perceived endorsement of this philosophy. While I am willing to make the required lifestyle commitments am I willing to recommend them to others? This I am uncertain about. I feel that, for the most part, my membership to the club will be perceived as an endorsement of the philosophy. I don't see how it could otherwise. It is part and parcel to the membership. A member is a member because they identify with the club and its principles. While there is always deviation in some respect the principles are considered to be endorsed on the whole. I guess I'll just have to deal with that.

I will not undermine the good and potential to do more good that the club has by purposely cutting against the grain. I will, however, follow my heart when I feel the need to keeping in mind that, even according to this club's core philosophy, there is rarely black and white but rather that we live in the gray and should respond accordingly.

So, yes, I am joining the club. I should be a full fledged, card carrying member within a couple weeks. Will the means lead to the much hoped for end? Only time will tell.

Welcome to the club - Part II

I don't really want to become a member of the club. I'm sure this much is clear by now. At least not in the club's terms. In my mind, I'm already a member. I have been for a long time. What is membership? Is it feeling like you belong? Or is it being told you belong?

You know, there are other clubs that are very similar to the club I have been talking about. Some of the rules of membership are different along with the way the club members express their membership but, ultimately, they're the same. In fact, these clubs are just smaller contingencies of a much larger organization. Ironically, a lot of the time it's easier to belong to the parent organization than it is to belong to one of the various clubs that fall underneath it. There seems to be less hoops to jump through. For some reason, the clubs require commitments and certain behaviors that the parent organization doesn't even require. I'm not convinced that the parent organization even endorses these hoops.

So, I can be part of the larger group but not the smaller club that derives its existence from that larger group. I can represent the parent organization but I can't fully represent the club. Not unless, of course, I agree to lay aside privelages held to be controversial by the club. Privelages that they will tell you are not "wrong" just not what's in the best interest of anyone who would officially represent the club. Why do I feel like I'm less than enough by adhering to the policies of the parent ogranization? How can I belong without actually belonging? Why do I feel like this is some type of polite caste system?

"You belong, just not as much as these people belong. Don't take it the wrong way though. You're fine as you are. Keep up what you've been doing. There's nothing wrong with that. You're just not membership material, but if you......"

Does that make any sense at all? I wasn't going to but I think I need to stop here and pick up in Part III.

Welcome to the club - Part I

Have you ever been a member of a club? I'm considering joining one myself. I like this club a lot. I know a lot of people who belong to this club. Up until now, I have never considered joining the club. I have always been able to be a part of the club, on various levels, without actually signing on the dotted line. I have hung out at the clubhouse for years, participated in various events, and even volunteered my time and resources. Over the past several years, I have become very attached. There have been things that, like any club, I have disagreed with but they have never been that major. You could almost say that I have developed some type of strange love for the club and its members.

The reason why I have never officially joined the club is simple. There was never a good reason to. I have always been able to participate at a level that was fulfilling to me. For all intents and purposes, I looked just like all the other club members. I did everything any of the others were doing, even more than some. The only thing I could not do, and cannot do still, is vote on club policy or hold a high level position in the club.

For some time now I have been feeling that the club just wasn't providing me with the same fulfillment that it used to. Having been privelaged to be on the inside of the club for so long has left me wondering about the future of this club. The club will probably survive , but I wonder if it will live up to the potential that it has. I have noticed that others have begun to feel the same way about the club that I do. Initially, I wasn't sure what to do about this. Like I said, I have grown to love this club and the club members and don't want it to meet a mediocre fate. There was a time when I thought that maybe my time with this club was up. Maybe I needed to find my place outside of the club where I could feel significant growth again. Then I started thinking that maybe I should stick around this club a little longer. Perhaps I could be influential in taking this club to the next level; help it reach its potential.

That's when it hit me. I'm not a full fledged member of the club. I couldn't even begin to approach this without first becoming official. So, what's the problem? Why don't I just join the club? Therein lies my dilemma. We'll get to that next time.

The Pursuit of Happyness

After we got over the initial shock of purchasing movie theater refreshments we did actually watch a movie. We saw "The Pursuit of Happyness" starring Will Smith and his son, Will Smith's Son. It is based on a true story. For those thinking about seeing the movie, do it. Just be forewarned, it is depressing. Very depressing. Basically, you watch Will Smith's character, Chris Gardner, as his life pretty much falls apart. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. I won't spoil the film for you. There is, however, a happy ending. Personally, I was a little disappointed in the ending. I felt that they owed me a little more than they gave me. I mean, I sat through this excruciating journey with the main character and his son for about 99% of the movie. Then I get 3 minutes of feel good at the end. Sorry, but that's not enough for the amount of agony I had to endure. Like I said though, I won't spoil the film for you. Go see it.

I am going to talk about one of the scenes right now. If you are going to see it then stop reading right now. At about the half way mark of the film there is a scene where Chris Gardner is in a hospital with his son waiting to speak with a doctor. Chris sells bone density scanners to doctors in the San Francisco Bay area. His wife and him had spent their savings to purchase a boat load of these machines which Chris thought would turn into financial freedom. As it turned out, most doctors saw these machines as a luxury, not a necessity. At this point in the film Chris' wife has left him, he got evicted from his apartment and he has no money. He and his son are homeless. Chris has sold all of his scanners except for one. If he can sell this one last machine then they will be able to stay in a motel until he can get back on his feet, essentially. This is a pivotal point for Chris and his son. If he does not sell this machine then they remain homeless and the downward cycle continues.

As they are sitting, waiting for the doctor, a nurse walks up to Chris and explains that the doctor called and said that he was not going to be able to meet that night. You could feel the devastation Chris Gardner was feeling. Seeing his son only enhanced that feeling. As I was watching that scene I couldn't help but wonder about that doctor. Why couldn't he meet with Chris? What was his reason? I had been watching all of these sad events happen to Chris and his son and I wanted to know. It wasn't right. Chris needed to sell that machine. Chris's son needed him to sell that machine. Now, you never find out the reason why the doctor couldn't meet Chris that night. I guessed that he was too busy. That's what the nurse made it seem like. Too busy doing what? I don't know. It could have been something really important or maybe it was something trivial. Maybe the doctor just couldn't be bothered. Either way it doesn't matter.

I couldn't help but wonder about my own life and encounters. To that doctor, Chris was just like any other person. He was someone other than the doctor. The doctor has a life, has relationships, has tasks and schedules. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. That's life but, Chris Gardner has a life too. He has relationships, tasks and schedules. What would happen if I sought to see people in the way that this movie allowed me to see Chris Gardner. What if I knew the consequences of my actions towards others? What if I truly knew the impact my action, or inaction, had on those around me? What if that doctor knew that Chris Gardner and his son would sleep locked in a bathroom in a subway tunnel that night? Now, I'm not suggesting that he would have, or should have, bought that bone density scanner for that reason. I'm just simply raising the questions. How often have we neglected to take the time for someone because it didn't mesh with our agenda?

This type of situation is complex indeed. There are no simple answers to these questions. The point I am trying to make is that we are surrounded by people all day, every day. Rarely do we know these people as well as "The Pursuit of Happyness" allows us to know Chris Gardner and his son. Would we view people differently if we knew the reality of their life? Would we treat people differently in light of that knowledge? I'd like to think we would but somehow I'm not certain. We might never know the depths of other peoples lives. That being said, I hope that we would choose to live like the well being of others is dependent on our actions. Who knows, it might just be someday.