We're all terminal.

I just finished watching a video on You Tube. First, let me say that everyone should watch it. It's a lecture by former Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch titled "Last Lecture". It was given in September of 2007 one month after he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.

I'm not going to discuss the details of the lecture because you really need to experience it for yourself. What I wanted to do was take the opportunity to comment on the effect it had on me. I really just want get what I'm thinking out of my head. I believe that writing out your thoughts and especially your goals and dreams allows you to better achieve them. I'm not sure why I believe this other than I've seen it happen in my life. It's not that things happen because you focus on them but that they absolutely won't if you don't. Don't start quoting me on this just yet though. I'm still figuring this out.

What I took away from the lecture was a strong reminder of things that are said often but given little significant respect. We are, at the same time, living and dying. What struck me is, while also being a platitude, that if we had a healthy respect for dying than we would probably possess a much greater passion and zeal for living. I've always said that I don't really care for fiction novels because their is so much non-fiction happening around us that there just isn't time for something that has no purchase on reality (Unless its allegorical but that's a horse of a different color). Some would say that this kind of attitude invites undue burden on one's life. I can appreciate that point but must wholeheartedly disagree. I can appreciate it because just living day-to-day life is tough enough without the added pressure of living significantly.

I look at my son (who is 6 months old today) and, with tears welling up as I write, cannot help myself from imagining how our world could shake as a result of his determination combined with whatever talent God has given him. I say "could" because I don't know what the future holds for William. I don't know what path of life William will find himself on. I am thoroughly convinced though that, no matter where he finds himself, if he chooses he can make that piece of the world change for the good, permanently. This is the same belief that I have for myself. I also have it for you.

People can call me an idealist. They can say I'm unrealistic. They can pass the buck and make excuses for why it can't, shouldn't, or simply won't happen. That's okay. I choose to believe that I was given life because someone knew what they were doing. I believe that I'm part of system, albeit on life support, that needs what I have though at times I'm not sure what it is that I have. Most reading this know that I follow Christ. My path meanders a lot but I'm still following. I say this because it has to be made clear that I don't find anything particularly extraordinary about myself beyond the capacity for greatness all mankind shares when we are so rightly aligned with God and his purposes.

I'm reminded of the lyrics to a song that I feel are quite in sync with this theme:

Go Down Believing by Chamberlain....

I say it's more than just, you know, playing it safe
Cuz you only got so much time here then you're on to another place
Either you go down in the ground and sleep still in your grave
Or you find yourself back home, back from where you came

But I'd rather go down, go down believing

You got two ways to think about your time to die
I'd rather tip glasses with kings even if it's only in my mind
You've got nothing to lose but you've got worlds to gain
There's a reason you tremble inside when you see the sky minutes after it rains

The very thing we're quick to deny is always what's keeping us alive
I guess you'd like to sit back on your boot heels like you're so satisfied

But I'd rather go down, go down believing

Death might hit you hard when you're feeling most alive
When it hits you it's hard
The the first time's the last time.

But I'll go down believing...

Randy Pausch passed away yesterday. Watch his lecture. If for no other reason than out of respect for someone who lived like he was dying even before he knew he actually was.

Watch the lecture and tell me you can't hear God whispering in your ear "Don't give up. You can do it. Trust me."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo