How do you show people that you care about them?

This is a question that I have struggled with for some time now. It really first crept up in my life about six months ago or so. I had been in my new job for about seven months and I was having a difficult time. As many of you know I am a Marketing Consultant for a cluster of radio stations and my primary way of acquiring new clients is through the time-honored, and generally maligned, practice of cold-calling. Whether it be over the phone or in person you are, most of the time, someone they didn't necessarily plan on talking to that day. In many cases, they don't ever plan on talking to you. Occasionally you'll get someone who tells you like it is and shoots straight with you. Most of the time, however, you get the run around.

This really bugged me. Could I be satisfied with these types of encounters? How was I going to build relationships with people that were more than just superficial. I thought to myself, "If they only knew that I actually do care." I know, it sounds crazy. Who has time for that? Aren't I supposed to be selling advertising? Look, I can't even take credit for it. As a matter of fact, I used to be totally focused on myself. That didn't work out too well for me but that's another story for another day. Let's stick to this one for now. I can remember talking to my friend Scott about this a few years ago. I noticed something about him, a character trait, that I found very attractive. He had such a passion for other people. It was incredible. I asked him about it one day. He told me that when he was in college he saw the same thing in a friend of his, someone who became a mentor of sorts to him. Scott asked his friend about what he saw just as I was asking Scott. What Scott's friend told him is what Scott shared with me and it has made a world of difference. To sum it up, others are more important than yourself and you should show them that they are. So many people have low self esteem and hardly hear a word of encouragement at all, even from those closest to them. Scott's friend made the commitment to be that kind of person to everyone he met. Scott liked it so much that he began praying that God would give him a genuine love and passion for others and God did just that. So, I decided that I wanted that same love and passion for others so I started to pray about it and still do to this day. It has been several years in the making but I am starting to see God answer that prayer.

What I didn't realize at the time is that there is a burden that comes along with that desire to love others. Go figure, you ask for something that will align you with the character of Christ and bless others and, of course, there's strings attached. I suppose these are the good kind of strings. The kind that help you see things as they really are. Unfortunately, those strings don't always feel good when they tug on your heart. You start to see people in a different light. Not as shapes and figures passing by you throughout the day cutting in and out of "your" day to day. Rather, you begin to view them as people with realities, at times convenient, at others imposing. Convenient in the respect that you can identify and share in the joy of life. Imposing because they go against the grain of your day. They require your time and your sincere attention. Sometimes you'll have something to share but most of the time you just listen and wonder what's going through their head and what in the world you can do to help. Most of the time there's not much to say. You hear what they say and you wish you could do something about it. The truth is you can't do much, most of the time. You can't change their circumstances. You can't put together a plan of action that will guarantee resolution. All you can do is listen and feel a little like they probably do, helpless. Helpless isn't really helpless though. Sometimes the best thing for us is to realize that we don't have the control that we thought we had. It reveals our great need for the one who created and sustains us, apart from our acknowledgement.

The good news, as I'm starting to see, is that it's not our job to solve all the world's problems. We are simply called to be available to respond to needs as we encounter them, to show compassion to others, and put them before ourselves. We can't assume that we know the reason behind every circumstance. We can have faith that God is in charge and seek to live according to the example Jesus set.

I'm reminded of the time when Jesus visited with two sisters, Mary and Martha. While Martha was busy making preparations for Jesus' visit Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet intently listening to what He was saying. Martha, of course, appealed to Jesus, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" Jesus replies, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." How often is it that we have that same myopic view of the world around us? We are focused on our daily tasks, in and of themselves morally neutral, but we miss what is happening all around us and in the process are missing out on seeing God in are very midst.

So let's bring it back to my original question. How do I show people that I care about them? Well, I decided that I was just going to do it. I was going to take time, every day, to put other people first and not just clients or prospects. Everyone. My co-workers, friends, strangers, whomever. Sure, there were still tasks to be accomplished but I wasn't going to let the "business" suffocate the relationships. So far, so good. I can't fully explain it but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer worry about what tomorrow's going to bring because whatever it brings is what God has for me and I accept it thankfully.

How do I show people that I care about them? I try my best to emulate Christ's heart, as flawed as my efforts may be. I take time for those around me and I pray for them. God cares about them just as much as He does about me and I believe that He wants them to know Him and His plan for them. I do not do this perfectly, I admit. Hopefully, God's grace picks up where my mistakes leave off.