The Bradley Method

Imagine this, if you will: 8 grown men in a dimly lit room massaging the butts of 8 pregnant women. Welcome to the next 10 weeks of my life. That's right. Meredith and I are enrolled in birthing classes. The 10 week program is called The Bradley Method named after the doctor that came up with this natural method of child birth. Now, this is not to be confused with another birthing technique growing in popularity, The Milton-Bradley Method, which has at its core a working knowledge of board games and their therapuetic and pain mitigating functions. The Bradley Method, basically, is a combination of relaxation, strengthening exercises and proper nutrition throughout the pregnancy to ensure the best possible natural birth scenario. Natural as in through the vagina sans pain medication. C-section doesn't count as natural, I guess. Meredith isn't sure if she is okay with doing this thing without pain medication. I'm not sure if I'm okay listening to women tell stories about their vaginas for the next 10 weeks. Either way, we're doing it. I think in next week's class we are going to learn the perineum massage. Google it. I dare you.

No one gets out of this life alive.

Sometimes, my grip on reality seems shakey. I don't mean in the "wow, this guy's losing it and probably going crazy" way. I mean in the other way. You know, you get in a routine and before you know it, you're in a routine. Your actions seems fairly scripted and predictable. One day blends into the next until you have a series of days, some refer to this phenomenon as 'weeks', that press on and characterize your life or at least the events thereof. Occasionally, one snaps out of it long enough to realize that they have fallen asleep at the wheel, again. Picture, if you will, living life sedated but aware enough to keep it together. This moment, for me, is when I ponder that existential and nauseating question; "What's the point?" The question is usually accompanied by that feeling of being here but not really being here. Like you are watching things happen outside of yourself. Not "What's the point?" in that melodramatic way people ask before they jump off a bridge. Don't mistake this for a cry for help. No, I mean "What's the point?" in the way a child might ask. A simple approach to a complex question. There is no depression present in the asking. No anxiety. Just naked inquisition. Children aren't interested in wasting time. It's either what they want to do or it isn't. Now, they don't always have the ability to judge benefit and consequence like we do. I have a feeling though that we're not as good at it as we might think at judging sometimes. That's why we need to ask "What's the point?"

"What's the point?" is my way of deconstructing my storehouse of knowledge to arrive at a place where I can be of use again. A place where I am present all of the time. There is an assumption, a taking for granted that accompanies knowledge and experience. I believe that this can become an obstacle to advancement. Sometimes, you have to be willing to be wrong in order to be right.

We should ask "What's the point?" from time to time as an exercise whose outcome provides us a glimpse into our current state of affairs. "What's the point?" betrays our motive everytime. Sometimes our motive can fend for itself. Other times......

Sometimes God makes you swim.

In about 35 hours I will be plunging into the vacuous depths of Lake Erie in an attempt to begin and complete my very first triathlon. It's a sprint triathlon which means that it's shorter than your average, run-of-the-mill triathlon. The swim is 750 meters (1/2 mile), the bike is 20k (12 miles), and the run is 5k (3 miles). I have been loosely preparing for this for the better portion of 3 months.

I began by getting back into a disciplined gym routine. I would go about 4 or 5 times per week working mostly on weight training. I worked some cardiovascular activity into the mix but mostly focused on strength training. Through my workouts I was able to gain about 17 lbs. in this short period of time. I feel a lot stronger and better prepared. The past two weeks I have stayed away from the gym, however. I have spent my workouts either cycling, running, or swimming. The cycling and the running are, by far, the easy part if there is such a thing. The swimming; now that's another thing altogether.

For some reason, I had this idea in my mind that swimming would come naturally to me and that I would excel at it. Boy, was I wrong. Swimming is difficult. Now, I don't mean swimming in the way most people, myself included up to this point, swim. I'm talking about the real deal. Head in the water, even stroking, breathing every third stroke, rhythmic, full legs kicking swimming. The kind of swimming you see when you watch The Olympics. This kind of swimming is difficult to keep up for very long. This kind of swimming requires strength and stamina; two things that I have less of than I originally believed.

The first time I entered the water to practice for the upcoming event was last weekend, less than 6 days ago. I wanted to make sure that I had enough time to train properly. I rented a wetsuit from a local cycling shop for $50 because I was informed that it made the swimming easier. Also, you are supposedly more buoyant in a wetsuit and therefore less likely to encounter "trouble" out in the open water during the race. My advice on wetsuits to anyone interested is this: Don't believe the hype. Moving right along.....There I am in a wetsuit in the middle of a pond in Attica, NY at my wife's family's cottage. It took me several attempts to realize that you have to breathe out while your head is in the water in order to allow oxygen to enter your lungs when your head is out of the water every third stroke. I know, I'm not to quick on the uptake. I suppose I was so focused on the rhythm of it all that I didn't focus on the thing that is supposed to come natural to us humans; breathing. I eventually got past that obstacle only to encounter the next. As it turns out I could only swim the "proper" way for about 25 meters. After about 10 minutes of this exercise in futility I gave up for the night.

Since that fateful day last weekend I have swam three more times. The most recent outing was Wednesday night and I have to say that I did okay. I was able to swim properly for about 100 meters before tiring out. That's definitely a step in the right direction. My only regret is that I started swimming 6 days ago. If I would have started sooner I might be better equipped for this race on Sunday morning.

On a slightly related note, God has really been testing my faith lately. There have been circumstances, mostly buying our first house and anticipating the impending birth of our first child, that have been weighing heavy on my proverbial shoulders. While I am confident that God is blessing us and that our decisions are well within the scope of his will for our life there is still that element of anxiety that accompanies life's significant transitions. The sailing is not always smooth. Sometimes the waves swell and when they do we can express that tendency to wince or even flinch. It's normal.

Driving in my car this afternoon it dawned on me that my training for the triathlon and the challenges of my living are very much alike. When I am swimming or running or biking there are often times when I am physically exhausted and mentally taxed as a result. I just want to stop where I am. I just want the discomfort to cease. I keep going though because I know how good it will feel when I've completed the task strong. I keep going because I know that I have done this before and that I can go just a little bit farther. I keep going because I know that I am going to be alright and that the discomfort is temporary. I keep going because I know that it will make me stronger and more capable for the next physical challenge.

When the stuff of life seems overwhelming and my faith begins to falter I need to keep going. I need to keep going because I know that there is a better life on the other side of the situation. I need to keep going because I know that I have been through challenges before and that I can handle just a little bit more. I need to keep going because I know that the trials of this life are there to build my character and make me more capable for the next. I need to keep going because I know that sometimes God makes you swim, but he never lets you drown.

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Our computer desk is in the family room of our apartment. We did this mostly out of necessity. Apartments aren't known for their palatial square footage now are they? It works out though because Meredith and I like to listen to music. That's right. We like to listen to music and that is how it works out. Well that and the fact that we listen to music almost exclusively through our computer online. All of this matters to you because while I sit hear blogging I am just feet away from that glorious waste of time we affectionately call television. The television inspires me occasionally as I blog away and today happens to be one of those occasions.

Have you ever watched "The Insider"? It's one of those Entertainment Tonight type shows where they report on all the comings and goings of Hollywood's elite. Here are some of the stories tonight: Did JFK Jr. have same sex relations? Will Linda Carter (played Wonder Woman in the 70's) get plastic surgery? Here's a good one. They just showed a picture of Tiger Woods with his wife and newborn daughter. The woman who is the host of the show was describing the picture for us. Mind you, it was on the screen. So as we were looking at a picture of Tiger holding his daughter while his wife kisses the top of their daughter's head the host is telling us that we are looking at a picture of Tiger Woods holding his daughter while his wife kisses the top of her head. Shocking. Brilliant journalism. Shoot me in the face.

Which star baby fascinates you the most? How is Paris Hilton holding up in jail? Is Prince William back together with girlfriend Kate Middleton? I realize that these are the hard hitting issues of our time but I can't help but feel slightly nauseous watching. The truth is that people want to know this stuff. Plain and simple. If there wasn't a demand then you can bet that NBC wouldn't be airing these types of programs. So they're only guilty of one thing; giving us what we want. Why is it then that we want this stuff? On a side note, I just found out that the new Indiana Jones movie is being filmed right now in "a top secret location". Wow.

Where was I? Oh.....Why do we crave connection with the rich and famous? I have some theories but I won't waste time laying them out here. Well, maybe just one. I think it's a lot like entertaining a baby. There isn't a whole lot of substance to what you do early on, is there? You just make cool sounds and maybe wave things in the baby's face to keep it occupied. Maybe a mobile for the crib with colorful, shiny things to stimulate. While this is good for an infant I can't imagine that it would work very well as the child grew both physically and mentally. I believe that we seek out the rich and famous and the products of our American entertainment industry to be stimulated. I mean, a majority of people will admit that they watch tv to distract them from reality from time to time. It can be a nice escape. I just think that it's a chilling indictment on our society when we become so wrapped up in the lives of people that have no purchase on the significance of OUR LIFE. I think we need to break the addiction of wishing we were somebody else and be who we were created to be and be okay with that.

Eat my shorts.

That's me running in the 2007 Buffalo Marathon that took place last Sunday. It's a beautiful view of my toned and trained body. If you look real closely you can see the people I'm passing staring at my prowess in awe while questioning their very existence. Well, at least that's what it looked like to me.

Truth be told, I only ran the first leg of a relay, 6.2 miles. I was pleased with the outcome. I was able to keep about an 8 minute mile pace. My friends Jim, Matt, and Sean ran the other legs. They all did very well in my opinion. Combined, we finished the marathon in 3:39:00 approximately. The winner of the marathon finished in 2:17:00, all by himself. Nasty. Just when I was feeling good about my accomplishment I realize how much of an amateur I really am. Oh well.

I had the privilege of lining up at the starting line for the start of the race. It was a cool experience being surrounded by all the other runners. You could really feel the energy and the anticipation. A lot of training and preparation all culminating at this moment. One guy standing to my left was barefoot. He ran the entire 26.2 miles throughout the city of Buffalo without any shoes on. My friends call me Janet, Miss Jackson if you nasty.

One lady who was lined up in front of me had pen all over her arms. She must have written some motivational messages to herself to reflect on throughout the race. One that I was able to read was "Breathe out negative, Breath in positive". That struck me as a little intense at first. Probably because she was uber serious, obviously, and that level of tenacity frightens at first blush. Most likely, what really happened was that I realized at that moment exactly what I was getting myself into. Thankfully, I only had to run 6.2 miles. Phew.

Well, I feel like I've said enough about my marathon experience. I think I'll just finish up and let you all enjoy the picture some more. Who wears short shorts?.......

Matt Carson is on notice.

So, is anyone else troubled by the fact that Matt Carson romps around the blogosphere leaving his comments on everyone else's posts but does not reciprocate the opportunity in kind? I mean, don't get me wrong; I love Matt Carson (like a rash loves salve) but I think that he is shortchanging us. His responses to our posts are, every single time, poignant and entertaining. Matt, this is an intervention.

I propose the following: Matt should create a blog that is more than just his name on a page. He should have a viewable profile and should grace us with his musings from time to time in true blog fashion, not just responses to our posts.

The long and short of it is that I crave something more. That's right Matt, I crave you. Oh, and then I could also take Matt seriously when he calls me out for not posting in a while. He could "lead by example".

In closing, Matt Carson, consider yourself on notice. I expect your prompt attention to this matter. Granted, this is Memorial Day weekend. Out of consideration for you and your family I will understand if you don't have it up and running by Tuesday. Wednesday will be fine. Oh, and use pictures. Not too many, though. It's not a scrapbook.

Save the Cheerleader, save the world.

Have you been following this NBC show, Heroes? I have. It's awesome. A little far fetched but awesome nonetheless. Last night was the season finale. All season long they have been reciting this mantra "Save the cheerleader, save the world." in the promos like some clue to the plot of the show. After seeing last night's episode I'm still a little confused about the whole cheerleader/world thing. If anyone can tell me how saving the cheerleader directly or indirectly contributed to the saving of the world I'd appreciate it.

Moving right along.......One thing that I love about the show Heroes is that all the main characters have some sort of super-human power that is a result of, as we are lead to believe, evolutionary advancement. One guy can fly, another heal, another reads minds, one travels time and space, while yet another absorbs the powers of those he comes in contact with. He's probably my favorite. He has a veritable smorgasborg of super powers.

So, what's the freakin' point? I am getting to that. For all of this to make sense I should tell you that I am currently reading a book called "The Spirit of the Disciplines". It's a tough read but so far I believe it's about living the life God intended for us by practicing certain spiritual disciplines like praying and fasting. The purpose of the disciplines is to get, and keep, your body in check and right relation to God. It offers the view that "the flesh" or our body itself is not inherently evil but it is when we allow our bodies to submit to "the world" and its desires that we run aground. In a nut shell, you have been redeemed by Christ but your body is still subject to the old life patterns and behaviors. Because our bodies were never meant to be viewed as separate from our "spiritual" being but rather inextricably joined there is potential to actual use our bodies, "the flesh", for God's glory. Of course, as we all know this is easier said than done. Naturally, we find ourselves settling for a sub-par relationship with God as a result and we often times sit and wonder why we feel defeated. The concept of overcoming the world's sway on our bodies becomes a pipe dream as we grind it out in hopes to "make it out alive" and not botch the whole thing.

What if it were possible to really live a disciplined life? What if we really could reconcile our bodies to our Christianity? What if we only did what we really meant to do instead of the impulsive things we say and do? What might we be capable of? Are we selling ourselves and, consequently, others short? By neglecting our bodies as an essential component of the spiritual being we are limiting what we can accomplish as followers of Christ. Why are we walking when we could be flying? Why submit to the decay around us when we could be bringing healing? Why stop in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles when we could be walking right through them? I am speaking figuratively, of course. (You can't really walk through walls, or can you......)

I am beginning to believe that through practiced discipline we could truly know the secret of the easy yoke. I for one am growing weary of living in defeat. We have all heard it said that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I believe God has placed desires in each of us but that to live out and realize these desires is going to take more than will and intention. Concerted, disciplined action is required. I look forward to the rest of the book as it explains methods to become more disciplined and mold my body into a vessel capable of carrying out the tasks of God's Kingdom. I anticipate the results will be a welcomed change.